


Cooler than Me

by societallyDysfunctional



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, M/M, Multi, Post-Canon, Post-Sburb, Post-Sburb/Sgrub
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-18
Updated: 2015-03-18
Packaged: 2018-03-18 12:48:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3570254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/societallyDysfunctional/pseuds/societallyDysfunctional
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat is (involuntarily) attending a massive party to celebrate the ending of that hellish game, when Dave decides he's going to drag the grumpy troll up to the karaoke machine and sing a duet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cooler than Me

“Hey Karkles,” Dave said, poking Karkat’s cheek with his finger.  “You wanna go sing a song?”

Dave, Karkat, and pretty much every other human or troll involved in the apocalypse/Sburb/Sgrub were attending a massive party to celebrate the end of the game and the creation of their new world; the game had practically reset, meaning that everyone involved had come back.  The sappy reunions and tears (which Karkat pointedly did not join, even if he watched from the sidelines wiping his wet eyes) had ended, and most of the players had gone their ‘separate ways,’ even though they all stayed in the same town.  A week later, someone (Roxy) had decided to throw a party to celebrate the end of the game.  Karkat had come to reluctantly at John’s request (read: coercion).  Now he regretted caving.  Gamzee was completely wasted (as usual); Roxy was drunk off her ass and draping herself over an uncomfortable-looking Jane; he even thought that a few people had started playing a round of spin-the-bottle, but then somehow Eridan’s spin landed on Sollux and they were currently having a sloppy make-out session on the couch and the game had been discontinued.  Karkat couldn’t even tell if they were black or red, and he was supposed to be an expert.  Now, someone had dug up a karaoke machine that actually looked fairly new, and people were singing popular songs off-key and having the time of their lives.  Theirs.  Not Karkat’s.  But now Dave had actually asked to sing with him, and Karkat was the least bit tempted to accept, even if it was for ‘ironic purposes.’

“The fuck?  Why?” Karkat asked, glowering.  Dave pouted, and Karkat cursed him for being that good-looking.  Yes, Karkat Vantas was flushed for Dave Strider.  As much as he didn’t like to admit it, Karkat had come to terms with the fact while he was on the meteor, although he had never acted on his feelings and thought he hid them well.  Little did he know, pretty much everyone knew about his non-platonic feelings for the stoic hipster.  Except said stoic hipster himself, of course.

“Please?” Dave begged, trying (and failing pathetically) to make a puppy dog face.  Karkat was sorely tempted to just give in, but he held his ground.

“No,” Karkat said stubbornly, crossing his arms.

“It was only a dare anyway,” Dave told him, shrugging.  “Sollux said that you’d be too chicken to do it, and I said I’d prove him wrong.  Guess he was right, then.”

“Fuck, fine, I’ll go,” Karkat conceded.  “But only because I’m not chicken!  Nothing else!”  Dave just smirked knowingly and dragged Karkat to the karaoke machine.  When Dave began to search through the songs, Karkat slapped at his hand.  “And _I_ get to pick the song.”

“Sollux told me a song we had to sing.  Part of the dare.”  Dave was trying desperately not to burst into laughter.  For some reason, Karkat was actually going with it.  He would’ve thought that he’d just refuse, seeing as Sollux wouldn’t have even noticed.  He was too busy sticking his tongue down Eridan’s throat to care what happened with the giant collaborative plan.  And there was no way that Karkat hadn’t noticed Sollux’s current, ah, _activity_ , because everyone at the party was avoiding the couch where the two of them were snogging.  “Unless you want to prove him right…”

“You get to choose the fucking song, but only to prove that I am not a fucking cluckbeast,” Karkat grumbled.  “And it better be good, shitstain.”

 _Oh it will be_ , Dave thought to himself wryly.  “Hey Kitkat, remember that song I showed you once?  It’s called ‘Cooler Than Me,’” Dave asked.

“Yeah, a bit,” Karkat lied.  Dave had shown him the song a while ago.  The truth was the song had reminded Karkat so much of Dave that he had listened to it multiple times.  He knew almost all the words.  “Is that what we’re singing?”

“Yep.  But this version is a bit, well, modified,” Dave told him, clicking the song that read ‘D-Strides - Cooler Than Me’ and adding it to the queue.

Roxy, who had evidently snapped out of her drunken stupor at least partially long enough to sing a karaoke song, was currently on the ‘stage’ belting out Avril Lavigne’s ‘What The Hell,’ and the whole crowd was singing along and dancing.  After the song ended, Roxy walked, or stumbled, rather, over to Jane and slung an arm over her shoulder.  When she saw Dave and Karkat standing together by the karaoke machine, she whispered something in Jane’s ear and winked at Dave, a mischievous gleam in her pink eyes.  Dave grinned and handed Karkat a microphone, holding his own to his mouth.

“Hey everyone.  Karkles and I, here, are gonna be singing a very special song,” Dave announced, much to Karkat’s confusion.  It wasn’t that special, was it?  “So I hope y’all like it.”

“ _If I could write you a song to make you fall in love, I would already have you up under my arm.  I used up all of my tricks.  I hope that you like this, but you probably won’t.  You think you’re cooler than me._ ”  When he began to sing, Karkat swore that his heart almost stopped; Dave was looking right at him while he sang about _loving_ him.  God, it wasn’t fair how amazing his voice sounded.  He could hear the slightest hint of a Southern twang, the accent Dave tried his best to hide.  Karkat loved it.  He was so caught up in the sound that he nearly missed his cue.

“ _You got designer shades just to hide your face, and you wear ‘em around like you’re cooler than me.  And you never say ‘hey’ or ‘remember my name?’ and it’s probably ‘cause you think you’re cooler than me._ ”  Dave listened intently while Karkat sang.  The troll glanced tentatively at him, as if he wanted approval.  Dave couldn’t help but smile cheekily.  Karkat’s voice wasn’t conventionally beautiful, but Dave felt a pang and a tingly feeling when he heard his crush singing.  Why hadn’t Karkat ever sang before?  He sounded amazing.

Then Karkat froze, studying the next lyrics.

 _What the fuck?_ he thought.   _Wait just one fucking minute—_

The lyrics weren’t the same.  Someone had partially rewritten the song so the lyrics fit— _him and Dave._   _Holy fucking shit._

So Karkat kept singing.  He told himself it was because of the dare (because Sollux and Eridan had indeed stopped sucking on each other’s faces long enough so Sollux could watch the amusing performance), but a part of him actually wanted to keep singing.  A love song.  With Dave.  Who was he to deny it; Karkat was a sucker for cliché romantic stuff like this.

“ _Look at this felt suit and the tie ‘round your neck.  You’re a poser for sure and it ain’t cool,_ ” he continued, stifling laughter at the truth in these lyrics.  He wondered who had written them.  “ _Mirror shades don’t shield you at all.  I can see right to your core._ ”  Dave was still smiling encouragingly at him, and his heart fluttered.

“ _I got you all figured out; you need everyone’s eyes just to feel seen._ ”  Wasn’t this performance proof enough of that fact?  “ _Behind your façade, you’re afraid to be judged, but you judge everyone.  Is your pedestal fun?_ ”  Whoever had written these lyrics certainly knew him well enough.  So probably not Dave, unless he was much more observant than Karkat thought.  Maybe a collaboration?

“ _If I could write you a song to make you fall in love, I would already have you up under my arm._ ”  There he went again, singing about loving Karkat with that insanely perfect voice of his.  Karkat couldn’t help seeing the irony; he was already horns over heels for Dave.  “ _I used up all of my tricks.  I hope that you like this, but you probably won’t.  You think you’re cooler than me._ ”  Dave certainly hoped Karkat liked it.  He did seem to be enjoying himself.

“ _You got designer shades just to hide your face, and you wear ‘em around like you’re cooler than me._ ”  Dave couldn’t get enough of Karkat’s unique voice.  He was so glad that the plan had worked; he, Rose, Kanaya, and Sollux had worked pretty hard on some of the lyrics.  “ _And you never say ‘hey’ or ‘remember my name?’ and it’s probably ‘cause you think you’re cooler than me._ ”  Dave was secretly scared for the next part.  He had written the next two verses by himself.  Sure, it was pretty much what he always said when they teased and poked fun at each other.  But he didn’t want Karkat to take it badly.  It was too late now, anyway.

“ _You’re full of anger, really nothing else.  And on my planet you’re called a midget._ ”  Dave cringed inwardly as he waited for an outburst of some kind.  When he looked at Karkat, the troll looked like he was containing laughter, even if his arms were crossed over his chest protectively.  He wasn’t actually _that_ short, but Dave liked to make fun of him.  They had always managed to stay best friends.  He hoped that this was a good way to reveal his non-platonic feelings for Karkat.  “ _And how are you supposed to be a fierce troll when your horns are one inch long?_ ”  At this line, he ruffled Karkat’s hair while the troll swatted his hand away, a faint trace of a smile on Karkat’s face.

“ _I got you all figured out._ ”  Oh how Dave wished that were true.  “ _You act tough like a man but you’re a pussy.  Your insecurity reeks across the room.  And how can I see who you’re really meant to be?_ ”  Karkat blushed lightly at the comment about his insecurity.  Then he focused back on the lyrics; the duet part was next.

“ _And it sure seems,_ ” Dave sang, while Karkat repeated the line after him.

“ _You got no doubts,_ ” they sang together.  Dave couldn’t help but notice how good their voices sounded together.

“ _And we both see,_ ” Dave led, Karkat repeating the line again.

“ _You got this quadrant picked out,_ ” they chorused.  Karkat still hadn’t been sure about whether Dave had truly red feelings for him, because he didn’t quite understand the human ‘love’ concept.  Although, if quadrants were in the song, he was now sure what Dave had intended.  Karkat couldn’t help but grin at Dave’s dorkiness.

“ _If I could write you a song to make you,_ ” Dave began.  Karkat joined in, “ _Fall in love, I would already have you up under my arm.  I used up all of my tricks.  I hope that you like this, but you probably won’t.  You think you’re cooler than me._ ”  At this point, Dave and Karkat barely noticed the crowd watching them intently.

“ _You got designer shades just to hide your face, and you wear ‘em around like you’re cooler than me.  And,”_ Karkat sang, letting Dave pick up from there.

“ _You never say ‘hey’ or ‘remember my name?’_ ” Dave continued.

“ _And it’s probably ‘cause you think you’re cooler than me,_ ” they finished together.  The room erupted in cheers.  Dave looked to his collaborators to see what they thought.  Rose and Kanaya looked a bit smug, and Rose seemed proud of her ecto-brother.  Roxy, well, Dave couldn’t tell what Roxy was thinking, because she was just looking rather drunk again.  He thought she liked it?  And Sollux—wait, where was Sollux?  As a matter of fact, he and Eridan had both—oh.  They were probably off having weird quadrant-confused red-black sex or some shit.  This was why you shouldn’t get trolls drunk.  Dave wished he could see Eridan and Sollux’s expressions when they woke up the next day and realized what had happened.

Then Dave felt someone’s fingers intertwine with his own, and glanced down to see a smaller gray hand in his.  He felt a slight blush creep across his cheeks.  Then he looked up into Karkat’s startling candy red eyes and was relieved to find that he wasn’t the only one flushing.

“Come on, asshole,” Karkat said, face still reddening.  “Let’s get away from all these fucking people.”  Karkat tugged on his hand and led him to a dimmer, quieter, and much more private hallway.

“Well, uh,” Dave stuttered, nervous but desperately trying to conceal it.  “How did you like it?”

“You know you didn’t have to do all that for me,” Karkat told him modestly.  “But I loved it.  Thanks.”

“Since you like all that romcom shit I thought it would be a good idea,” Dave admitted.  “I’m not all that great at expressing my feelings.”

“We noticed,” Karkat interrupted dryly.

“So I thought that maybe I could rewrite a song because you know I can make all those sick rhymes,” Dave continued, ignoring Karkat’s sarcastic remark.  “When Rose found out she told me that she was trying to get us together and shit but couldn’t figure out how and she said it was a good idea.  So yeah.”

“Rose was _what_?!”

“Oh yeah!  She said everyone knows we like each other except the two of us and that we’re oblivious idiots,” Dave told him, shrugging.  “Roxy, Kanaya, an Sollux were in on it, too.  Roxy said the sexual tension between us was borderline frustrating, and Kanaya was just trying to help you out with the inevitable.  Sollux helped a bit with your parts, I have to admit.”

“Oh god…” Karkat groaned.  “No wonder Sollux looked so fucking smug earlier.  He knew this would fucking happen.  Some goddamn friends I have.”

“Hey bro you still got me,” Dave offered.

“I thought that song was your weird-ass human way of asking me to be your matesprit, fuckass!”

“If that’s your alien way of asking me to be your boyfriend, then yes.”

“You cheeky little shit!”

“I know you love me.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Make me,” Dave challenged.

Karkat opened his mouth to retort, but thought better of it.  Instead, he closed his eyes and leaned forward, standing on tiptoes to press his lips gently to Dave’s.  The human stood dumbfounded while Karkat smirked.

“I have discovered how to shut the great Dave fucking Strider up,” he declared triumphantly.

“You are the most adorable person I have ever met,” Dave told him, smiling warmly.  Something about that expression made Karkat’s insides melt.

“I am _not_ —”  Dave interrupted him by picking him up (Karkat was surprisingly light) and kissing him deeply.  Karkat’s insult died in his mouth as he wrapped his legs around Dave’s waist and tangled his fingers in his soft, platinum blond hair, warmth spreading throughout his body.  This was so much better than he ever could’ve imagined; he had wanted to do this for such a long time.  He was _kissing Dave Strider_.  And _Dave Strider was kissing him back_.  This was just like one of his cheesy movies.

When they pulled away slightly after a rather short amount of time, the two of them were breathless and smiling widely.

“I could hold you forever, you’re so tiny.”

“Shut up I’m not _that_ fucking tiny come on,” Karkat protested.

“See?  Adorable.”

“Fuck you.”

“Gladly.”

Karkat elbowed him while Dave laughed and set him down on the floor.

“You’re ruining the moment!”  Dave just chuckled and kissed him lightly on the lips.

“We should be getting back now anyway, Karkles,” Dave pointed out.

“Ugh, fine,” Karkat said.  “But I am not letting you have any drinks.  We do not want to end up like Sollux and Eridan.”  He was referring to how they were quadrant-confused and drunk out of their minds.

“I don’t know, I wouldn’t mind—” Dave started.

“Just shut up you perverted dickwad,” Karkat told him.

Dave, for once, did what he was told.  He allowed himself to be dragged back into the post-game festivities, the party made infinitely better by the fact that he and Karkat were now _dating_.  Just like he had fantasized on that meteor.

Maybe the game wasn’t all that bad, once all things are said and done.

**Author's Note:**

> why do all my endings have to suck is it mandatory or something why
> 
> The song is “Cooler Than Me” by Broadway Karkat & D-Strides
> 
> Anyway I hope you guys liked this one! In case you were confused, this headcanon implies that once the game ends, all the players (Betas and Alphas) come back to life to live on the new world. Although, there aren’t any post-Scratch characters, only the Pre-Scratch.
> 
> So yeah, I hope you thought it was funny and fluffy and cute. I’m not sure.
> 
> Thanks for reading! If you liked it, try and write a comment! Reading what you guys think never fails to make me smile.
> 
> ~Rebecca


End file.
